You sit across from me and say the same sentence in different words.
“We should have done something sooner.”
You do not say it with drama. You say it with fatigue.
Let me say this first.
If you waited, you are not cruel. You are not negligent. You are not heartless.
You are human.
Denial is often love in protective clothing.
It is easier to tell yourself: “It’s stress.” “It’s aging.” “It’s nothing.”
Because once you name it, you cannot unname it.
But here is the part that matters.
Waiting does not slow the disease.
It shortens the runway.
When families finally act after months or years of unease, the conversations are harder. The resistance is stronger. The safeguards feel imposed instead of chosen. The structure feels like control instead of collaboration.
And here is the question we rarely ask out loud:
What happens if she gets lost and you did nothing to help her find her way back?
Not because you didn’t care.
Because you hoped it wasn’t real.
Because you thought testing would make it worse.
Because you wanted just a little more time in the illusion of normal.
But getting lost does not wait for your emotional readiness.
And that is why early action is not surrender.
It is leverage.
In early-stage cognitive decline, the brain can still adapt. Routines can still be built. Location sharing can still be agreed to. Conversations about safety can still be mutual.
That window narrows.
MiM lives in that window.
MiM is not about labeling someone. It is not about turning a spouse into a patient. It is about building an operating system while the person can still help design it.
If you waited, do not waste another ounce of energy on guilt.
Use it on structure.
Start here:
• Create a written “Get Home” plan. • Turn on location sharing. • Establish one daily anchor routine. • Write down what they still love and protect that first. • Schedule the evaluation you’ve been postponing.
You do not need certainty to begin.
You need courage.
And courage, in this season of life, looks like preparation.
MiM is the bridge between diagnosis and daily life.
